Naming your child(ren) is an important part of parenting, no matter matter if you live in a hellscape in which your name cannot easily be changed―and all parents / guardians need to decide on a single name for their child(ren). Or you live in a progressive-in-this-manner culture (because every culture has its problems) that understands that, generally speaking, there’s more than one caregiving figure involved in that child’s life; therefore, each of those caregiving figures is allowed to name that child.

While all signs point to Nerdanel being better at coming up with names, we need a definitive, not subjective at all, absolutely no biases here, competition between her and her balls-less bitch of husband: Fëanor, the man who made all of her babies swear an oath to get all three of his balls back. That’s right, everybody, this bratty little boy was blessed with more balls than most perisex men are, and yet he lost every single one of them. Wow!