Norawarth: I think the real reason you do not respect King Thranduil and Prince Legolas is because both of them were simply handed their kingdom. Lady Galadriel, Lord Celeborn, and Lord Elrond worked for theirs.
Calemir: That’s right, they did!
Norawarth: And as everyone knows, the Woodland Realmers are less wise and more dangerous. You consider them a childish obsession. You even consider King Thranduil “a king of yokels“!
Continue reading “Size Matters Quite a Lot”Norawarth: I suspect you already know what might have happened if Caranthir had sired children.
Calemir: He would’ve said, “Aaaaaah!!! Maglor! How do you raise a baby!?!”
Continue reading “Caranthir, if he’d had children”Calemir: Pixxy, why don’t you just set up the tech we need to watch the movie version?
Pixxy Fire Fist: Yes! Absolutely! Lady Galadriel did more fighting across all six of these things than Lord Glorfindel and her husband! She didn’t fight just anybody, she fought the Dark Lord himself!
Toshiro and Tadashi: And Lord Elrond helped her. We’re Elrondgender now!
Pixxy Fire Fist: Two other stupid old men were there too.
Kenken: Keep in mind, we only have the basic cut. Maybe Lord Glorfindel and Lord Celeborn did some fighting in the extended editions. And Lord Glorfindel a single thing in the books: he guided Bilbo Baggins to Rivendell.
Norawarth: A role that was fulfilled instead by Lady Arwen. As Shadow of Chaos said, we are taking Lord Glorfindel on a new adventure: keeping this child alive long enough to hero-worship all the Ardan mothers he seeks to meet, slay a dragon, and perhaps join a Fellowship.
Continue reading “Simarils and the Point of Writing”A not-so-innocent sequel to Mahal and Eru for the Innocents.
Yavanna, broiling with anger, prowling in like a lioness about to kill her prey: I cannot believe this! Vána! Varda! Estë! Vairë! Nessa! We need a god-wife talk! Nienna! Get in here too, you’re going to love this!
{The goddesses gather for some gossip!}
Continue reading “The Wrath of Mother Nature”Harnor: Hey, Piko, why don’t you tell this story?
Piko: Absolutely! It was never Eru who was upset at Mahal, it was Yavanna!
Mahal: Aren’t they great? We need some Champions of Tough to handle all the darkness Morgoth’s making! I’ve been teaching them smithing, maths, and sciences! And some basic fighting skills! I have knowledge to share. I know you’re working hard on the Elves. Making Champions of Beauty isn’t easy… I don’t mind if they’re not alive, they’re alive enough for me!
Eru: …You’re right, we do need some Champions of Tough around here. Well done, son. Now. Does your wife know about them?
Continue reading “Mahal and Eru for the Innocents”Kenken: Believe it or not, Chu, there is yet another way we can use Lady Galadriel to explain advanced genders! As stated in the last lesson, her mother named her “Nerwen”. Do you remember what that means?
Chu: It means “man-maiden”!
Kenken: That’s right, it means man-maiden. Well done, Chu! Now, in a world where everything is pretty binary, men sire children, and women give birth to children. In a galaxy far, far away; that’s not necessarily true. Mandalorians, whom we took inspiration for our Calemir’ade philosophy, have a word for male and female―”jagyc” and “dalyc”―but not a word for man and woman. Cui ogir’olar! It’s irrelevant―especially in battle, which is what Mandolorians love to do! They love it a little too much, but every culture has its problems. So, Chu, what do you suppose would be the difference between “jagyc” and “dalyc”, and “man” and “woman”?
Continue reading “Advanced Genders 103”Kenken: Believe it or not, Chu, Ardan Elves already do sort of understand advanced genders already―or at least advanced relationships to gender. Lady Galadriel, if you or any member of your household is reading this, we do sincerely apologize. Alright, Pixxy, hit it!
Pixxy Fire Fist: Lady Galadriel’s mom named her Nerwen! That means “man-maiden”! Does that mean she’s a maiden and a man? That’s something to celebrate! Let’s go celebrate Lady Galadriel’s advanced gender!
Continue reading “Advanced Genders 102”Kenken: Welcome, everyone, to a series of lessons on the basics of transgender power, nonbinary power, and various other topics related to advanced genders. Hey, Chu, why don’t you help me?
Chu: Okay!
Continue reading “Advanced Genders 101”
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